You cannot pour tea from an empty teapot. This statement sounds obvious and simplistic but in real life and in real relationships, it is not obvious at all. Many people spend their whole lives being disappointed and sometimes hurt by their relationships. They fail to understand the basics of interacting with others. Their expectations are unrealistic.
They are ego-centric and focused on their own needs, at all times. When those needs are not met by others, they assume the worst. This sets off a chain reaction of negative thoughts and actions and sometimes, accusations. This muddles the issue.
Most difficulties occur because you ask too much from someone, and /or your own needs are too great. If you want a lot from someone you may be asking too much from them. People can only give what they have. If they don’t give it, they may not have it to give. They are not selfish, mean or stingy. They are just empty.
Don’t jump to erroneous conclusions.Don’t assume the worst about the person. Don’t assume the worst about yourself. It has nothing to do with your self-worth or whether or not you deserve better or more from someone.
Every teapot is a different size and holds a different amount of tea. Some teapots have no tea at all. There is no tea to pour. It is a sign of emotional maturity when you become aware of this truism and accept it. It is a sign of emotional maturity when you can understand that it has nothing to do with you. It is also not the fault of the teapot. For whatever reason, no one took the time to brew the tea.
Maybe, you are in their life because you are the one to brew the tea. Maybe, you are the one to give to them and not just receive from them. Maybe you are the one to fill their teapot so that it will not be empty anymore.
Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864, Psychotherapy.firstname.lastname@example.org