If you have been trying to change your undesirable behaviors, you have probably tried every method under the sun. If none of these techniques has been successful, you need a bolt from the blue. You need a bolt of lightning to strike you to help you change your unwanted, unpleasant and unwelcome behaviors. You need a shock that will disturb and unnerve you and interrupt the status quo in your life.
Consider using my “Lightning Bolt” technique. It is a quick remedy that will help you change your conduct. Every time you engage in an activity or perform an action that is harmful to yourself. Catch yourself and think or say out loud “Why do I hate myself in this moment?” What have I done?” “Why am I feeling guilty and why do I feel the need to hurt myself and to punish myself?” “Why don’t I deserve love, happiness and self-approval?” It is also helpful to repeat to yourself, the phrase, “I hate you” or to ask yourself, “Do I really hate myself so much? ” as you carry out the behavior. Then substitute the thought and words, “I love myself. I deserve better.”
The results from this approach can be life-changing for you. It will give you a quick jolt of insight. Repeating these phrases, should motivate, inspire and prompt you to stop instantly. These thoughts and statements will change your perception of the activity. They will also change your desire to continue the activity.
Harmful activities are drinking to excess, using harmful drugs, eating to excess, pulling out your hair, cutting or picking at your body and neglecting yourself. You neglect yourself when you do not exercise, eat healthy foods, and get enough rest. Harmful activities also include anger, resentment, carrying a grudge, seeking revenge, spreading rumors, and making negative and disparaging comments about others. You are also harming yourself when you fail to forgive, fail to appreciate, fail to share yourself and your possessions, and fail to love.
Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864, 212-308-0309.
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