‘Honors & Accolades’

The City of Aventura always honors an “Officer of the Month” – so perhaps there should be more awards bestowed around town for outstanding performance in leading roles like these:

Most Valuable Valets: The race for who deserves this honor the most should be won be all the Aventura valets who never get all the same model Mercedes confused; and help you up with your groceries without ever breaking eggs or letting your ice cream melt!

Super Cashiers: Supermarket cashiers who scan the fastest and encourage people to take their coupon complaints to the customer service desk deserve special recognition – especially if they remind you that you can get the “buy one get one free” bargain you didn’t know about! Terrific Order Takers: Everyone who regularly calls favorite restaurants to place take-out orders would surely agree, all the people who answer the phone and actually remember what you like to order without you having to tell them really deserve a medal…Just try not to ever start ordering something different since this could spark traumatic confusion and questions about why you’re not having “the usual.”

Best Baristas: Just like terrific order takers, the best baristas around town who always make your coffee drink just the way you like it should get memory medals for recalling: “No whip, skinny, decaf, 3 shots, 2 Splendas, room on top, extra caramel, extra hot!”

Savvy Stockers: Whenever the most popular brand, flavor or size you want most isn’t sold out – while there are still hundreds of less desirable items still available, the store stockers should be commended for staying on top of consumer demand – and never ever placing what you’re trying to reach on the highest top shelf!

Excellent Elected Officials: Members of the Aventura City Commission win the award for being the best when it comes to public service – and since just like Clint Eastwood, they often talk to “empty chairs” at City Commission meetings – this really proves that when a city is being run so well, no one really needs to fill the seats!

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