Sometimes, something that happens has an unexpected and unplanned outcome in your life. If it is a negative event it can be upsetting and even devastating. At the very least it is disappointing. Usually it is an event that centers around your control or your lack of control. There is an element of chance involved which can be disconcerting, to say the least.
You have probably heard the expression, “Look for the silver lining.” The so called “silver lining” is the consolation prize or hopeful feature in any misfortune. So, how do you find a silver lining when you seem to be surrounded by clouds?
The simplest solution is to withdraw for a bit. Have a “no think” day. Do not let yourself think about the situation at all. Stop acknowledging any feelings you may have. Stop any and all thoughts that pop into your head, instantly. Do not try to understand it or solve it. Don’t try to figure out what to do next. At this stage you are not ready for thoughts.
Go into a zone. Go numb. Go into an, “I don’t care mode” even if it not true. Postpone all chores. Ignore the demands of everyday life. Let everything slide. Tuck your head back in like a turtle. Rest. Do something that pampers you.
When you withdraw your thoughts and feelings about something then you are withdrawing your energy. Nothing can live or continue to exist without your focus and energy. Stewing and fretting is stress begetting and will only make the situation worse.
Find one thing about the situation that could have been worse.True, you are in the Emergency Room but at least you have a nice doctor and caring, compassionate nurses Settle for reassuring yourself that there is a silver lining and that it will show up sooner or later. Reassure yourself that there may be a reason for what transpired as it did. Be patient. Believe and trust.
Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864, 212- 308-0309.
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