Thursday , 18 December 2014
Breaking News

‘Everybody Talks’

Around town, everybody’s talking about how Aventura is being affected by issues like these making national news headlines:

Baggage Fees: Since airlines are making millions charging baggage fees, savvy Aventura valet companies are thinking about charging extra for carrying up an abundance of shopping bags – with a premium charge added if they’re from exclusive stores!

Bacon Shortage: People are being encouraged to “bring home the bacon” before there’s a shortage – but that probably won’t be a problem for stockers at one of the only Winn Dixie’s with a kosher section conveniently located right around the corner from Kosher Kingdom!

Replacement Referees: Was it an interception or a touchdown?? If the NFL had only visited Aventura Mall to recruit replacement referees from Foot Locker – maybe the game would have ended with the right call!

Casual Vacancy: Rumor has it, famous Harry Potter author J.K. Rowlings’s first book for adults was inspired by all the casually dressed visitors who enjoy staying at Aventura’s luxurious spas and hotels, where there’s rarely a vacancy – and guests receive complimentary copies of bestsellers like the Aventura City Guide.

‘Gaga’s Gain’: With her recent weight gain in the news, Lady Gaga is now encouraging fans to embrace their insecurities with a “Body Revolution” campaign. It would also be a great idea for Gaga to appear live in concert at the Aventura Arts & Cultural Center – and give away free coupons for decadent desserts at all the local restaurants!

Honey Boo Boo: When reality shows and MTV awards get higher ratings than political conventions, it may be time to change the channel and tune into Aventura’s own Comcast cable channel 77 – but be forewarned, you may need a sugar rush from Pixie Stix and Go Go Juice to stay awake to watch!

47% of Americans : Romney may have meant to refer to the large percentage of “Aventurians” who are privileged to pay the lowest property tax rate in Miami-Dade County…That’s why when it comes to talking about which city in America has the highest quality of life, Aventura always wins the vote!

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