When a person is driven to distraction they are almost driven to a state of madness. They feel crazed. They may feel furious, incensed and enraged. They cannot focus or concentrate. This state is generated by other people and situations. They cause you to feel negative emotions that you do not normally experience.
Most inappropriate irritating behavior is a bid for your attention. It says I am more important than anything or anyone else in your life including yourself. My needs and desires supersede yours or even the reality of the moment. Their drama is a way to force you to focus on them. They attack you and force you to defend yourself. They insinuate that you are inadequate. They accuse you of letting them down. They consume you and your energy with their demands. It is difficult to enforce your boundaries. It is impossible to assert your rights.
It is futile to think that they will ever respect you and your needs or the needs of others. They lack the awareness that others have any needs. It is hard not to be angry with them and resent them. But, perhaps, pity is a better response. These individuals are incapable of the basics of human interaction. They lack the concept of courteous behavior. They cannot treat others with consideration. They do not understand the reactions that they create in others.
It is very important that you identify the cause and effect the attention grabbers have on you and your life. Become aware and alert and notice what is happening around you and to you. You have to establish some boundaries to keep the attention getters from distracting you from your own needs. Learn how to protect your life force, focus and concentration. Keep them from draining and consuming your energy. Disengage from the drama they create. Their dramas will not change. You must be the one to change and develop your skills to respond to these individuals and situations differently.
Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864, 212-308-0309.
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