There are two kinds of disappearing acts. In one, the person, place or thing dies and ceases to exist. In the other disappearing act the person place or thing ceases to be visible. All kinds of people and places disappear. In some cases they still exist but they are no longer visible or available to you in your world.
Friends and the important people in your life may move away or retire. The people you depend on for certain services such as bankers, doctors, pastors, waiters, barbers, beauticians and numerous other support people that make your life easier and better may no longer be available to help you. Stores, restaurants and banks close.
Your favorite things and your favorite products may be discontinued. Things vanish overnight. Here one day and gone the next. Often, you have no indication or warning. Often you do not even have the opportunity to say good-bye. There is no sign to let you know that changes are coming. If you knew you would be able to prepare for the loss. Because the loss is so sudden, it is more difficult to incorporate into your mental, emotional and psychological schema.
The shock, sadness and sense of loss you feel when a favorite place or person ceases to exist or becomes inaccessible to you may seem disproportionate but human beings need to feel that they can count on some people and things in their life. The constant losses create feelings of insecurity. The temporary nature of everything creates anxiety. There is no one and nothing you can rely on. If someone or something goes away maybe love will go away. You are in a constant state of micro-grieving.
One way to cope is to realize that nothing is permanent in the Universe by design. Few things come with a lifetime guarantee. Always try to say good-bye. Enjoy and treasure what you have while you have it. Be appreciative of everyone and everything you have now. Express your appreciation frequently.
Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864, 212-308-0309.
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