Luckily, I am not a doctor. A lot of my friends are, but they have patients; I have absolutely no patience, at least not any longer. I used to have some and would get upset with the person behind me at the red light who beeped at me because my foot did not react fast [...]
I guess I would be remiss if, as a politician, I didn’t offer my “Jobs Program” so here it is: Call it the 10-10-10 or whatever number turns you on, but these ideas are guaranteed to work. First, let’s get rid of those expensive machines on the back of our trash and recycle trucks and [...]
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a WW II buff, having read perhaps thousands of books on the subject, and even having a room in my house called the “War Room” where I keep all my WW II stuff and spend hours watching the History and Military channels. In our travels, my traveling [...]
While traipsing through Costco the other day and being the wiseacre that I am, I exclaimed to my shopping companion in a loud voice: “Look, honey, they have books made out of paper here!” She, of course, pretended not to know me, but fortunately there was another couple nearby with a gentleman as weird as [...]
I got called to the principal’s office — again! This time it wasn’t to be disciplined (more on that later), but to be “Principal for the Day” at Centennial Middle School. What a treat that was. First, seeing my name up on their marquee and then going to “my office” to have a great school [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... “Don’t grow old.” This is one of the few stupid things that I allow myself to say once each week. This time I said it to a bunch of younger coworkers at my place of business. One of them shouted out: “What is the alternative?” Of course I had no acceptable answer. [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... One of my favorite TV personalities just turned off his camera and microphone at CBS’ 60 Minutes. I say turned off, because he never used the word retire or leaving but it was his last regular appearance on the famous news show. I speak of course of my idol, Andy Rooney. Why [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... I shouldn’t really bother myself with this. Sean is a 7-year-old boy who happened to be my seatmate on a recent flight to Boston. My traveling companion as always chose the isle seat so I was stuck in the middle and prayed as passengers were coming down the isle, that the 400-pound [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... Okay, I threatened to write about it so here goes: “The Criminal Injustice System.” I probably will get a lot of flack from attorneys (including my daughter, who is among them). Most say our system is the best and it is working well. Sorry, but I disagree. Unless you are Casey Anthony [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... I am about to solve the national deficit. After all those high-paid advisors have wasted their time working on the problem, I have a plan that is sure to work. Charge for emails! Now hold on. Don’t get your self in an uproar. Hear me out. By simply charging, let’s say 10 [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... It seems that everyone who is allowed space in a newspaper has written about the “Weiner Affair.” In case you have been living under a canal in South Dade, that is about Congressman Anthony Weiner of New York and his organ displays on the Internet. As I write this, it was announced [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... I think I can… I think I Can… I think I can. That was said by the Little Engine that Could in the famous children’s book by the same name. I really can’t… I really can’t … I really can’t. That is my mantra. I just can’t seem to throw things away. [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... God is angry! He must be or why would we be experiencing all these earthquakes, floods, nuclear disasters, hurricanes, etc.? But what is he so angry about? Those “God Hates Fags” people at the Westboro Church in Topeka, KS, believe it is because we allow gays in the military. Other church leaders [...]
By Ernie Sochin.... Everyone is talking about jobs. I just got back from Washington, DC, and that was the key buzzword. If you ask for anything from the government, you must promise that it will deliver jobs. If you tell them that you have a project that will deliver jobs, they tell you that they [...]
